THE ONLY WAY

 

Many people, even some very wise ones, believe that the only way we grow as individuals is through pain, struggle, hardship, and suffering. Really? Let’s take a closer look. 

For one thing, pain and suffering don’t guarantee that we grow. Instead, many people wittingly and unwittingly choose to become bitter, self-pitying, angry and even violent. That’s not just regressive. It’s the antithesis of the wellbeing we desire for ourselves and the world. (You've heard, I'm sure...“You’re only young once but you can be immature forever.”)

For another, our unpleasant life experiences (regardless of intensity) can only become conduits of growth if (and it’s a big ‘if’)--we consciously choose to make them so. This willingness reveals the one and only path to growth via our pain and suffering: humility.

Humility is the conscious decision to accept, yield or surrender to something or someone. I know, not very “sexy,” as they say. But notice how the only way we actually learn anything in life is by becoming a student of it. 

How does this apply to our pain and suffering? It’s organic. The more genuinely humble we are . . . the more open we are. The more open . . . the more observant. The more observant . . . the more receptive. The more receptive . . . the more we learn. And the more we learn . . . the more we grow.

But if this humble path virtually guarantees growth then why don’t we choose it more often? In a word: ego. Notice, for instance, the wording used in our advertising...language that constantly strokes, soothes and satiates--and implicitly justifies--our egos. In such a culture humility is virtually without value. It isn’t just ignored. It’s considered undesirable; a chink in one’s all-sufficient armor.

But humility isn’t just for a rarified few. It’s a way for all of us to be in the world. . . and open to it and its wonder.

“As God's chosen ones [that's ALL of us], holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)

TODAY.

LET’S GIVE THE WORLD AND OURSELVES A GIFT.

LET’S THINK ABOUT WHAT WE BELIEVE . . . AND WHY.

 

EARTH'S DAY

This is our watch.

However long we’re here,

we’re on duty,

caring for the earth’s wealth,

woes, and wellbeing.

We’re here on its behalf, not ours,

each of us joyfully representing it

to all with whom we share this day.

We’re here to put a human face to it, 

to embody it, to embolden it,

and to encourage it to thrive through us

--even as it does so for us.

We’re its spokespersons,

its local guides, its concierges,

its mediators and advocators,

not just to encourage compliance

with its natural rules and organic regs,

but to help each other see it for all that it is;

rarified beauty, sacred splendor, 

precious and priceless gift;

font of our future

that, like a giving tree,

loves us with unconditional abandon,

entrusting us completely with its care

--not just one day--but every day,

because every day is the earth’s day.

Fortunately for us,

it never takes 

a day off.

LIFE HAPPENS. . .

“Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you,” you may have heard. Two innocuous little words…”to” and “for.” What difference can the distinction between them possibly make?

 Turns out, quite a lot.

 When we approach our day with a “life is happening TO me” mindset, then we’re apt to feel like life at its core is adversarial, like this day is a boxing ring and I’m in it with “life.” And “life” is a lot bigger! We have to be fearful and on the defensive. We have to keep our heads down and our guard up. 

 But if we approach this day thinking, “Life is happening FOR me” then we see life as a companion or coach--maybe even as friend or teacher. We don’t need to be afraid. We’re not its latest victim. We can feel supported, invited in, encouraged. We can deal with the present moment perceptively, positively and proactively. 

 Making this mental shift from “to” to “for” takes a bit of a leap. (Haven’t we all been taught to be wary of life? Too wary, I think--and at  great personal and collective cost.) It’s like attempting to hop onto a swiftly spinning merry-go-round. Our minds continue to spin in the direction they’ve been going for a long, long time. So, they easily throw off any new idea that tries to latch on to them. But it’s not impossible.

Neither of these two choices is the “right” one. There is truth to both of them. But whichever one we choose to be the predominant one becomes our modus operandi and so unconsciously exerts tremendous power and influence over our decisions, our days and their short and long-term outcomes.

Let’s not just read this and move on to what’s next on today’s to do list. Let’s bring it home, applying it to the  circumstances shaping our lives right now. Then the truth of it will begin to seep into our souls at a level that might actually stick. 

That’s where inner transformation (read: life) really happens.

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10b)

TODAY.

LET’S GIVE THE WORLD & OURSELVES A GIFT.

LET’S TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE BELIEVE...AND WHY.

THIS MUCH I KNOW

You are indeed a mystery, Lord.

You are so much I don’t know,

so much that astounds my mind,

so much that awes my heart.

But this much I do know:

To know you is to know pure love,

the kind no one can thrive, 

much less survive, without.

To know you is to pasture in your presence 

and experience your abundant life within, 

knowing that you aren’t just with me, 

you are one with me, even and especially

when my life is full of fears, 

and the moment fraught with tears.

To know you is to know 

that no matter what this day brings,

I’m being loved by a love that watches 

over all my comings and goings--

even when I don’t know 

whether I’m coming or going.

How can I help but 

love you back?

“The Lord is my shepherd. . . .” (Psalm 23)

FUN TO BE WITH

Here’s a question I like to ask myself occasionally: Am I being fun to be with? 

It may sound trite, and yes, if we just stay at the “fun” level I would agree. But let’s go a bit deeper. When you stop and think about it, it requires significant resolve to be the kind of person that another will find to be consistently good, safe, interesting company--especially over the long haul. The longer we know and are known by someone--and the more intimately we know and are known by them--the more maturity of character it requires to do life together.

Consider those whom you most like to spend time with? What makes them so engaging? My guess is they’ve made the commitment to be interesting, which includes being interested in you, in the world, in life. 

Sure. We all have bad days. We all experience bumps and bruises even in our most loving relationships. And yes, sometimes it feels like life throws us under the bus. But having the inner fortitude to focus on being fun to be with tends to temper our thoughts, words and actions and direct them in positive and healthful ways. 

Sound like too much work? Consider some additional personal payoffs. One, we open ourselves to the world around us. Two, we instantly and over time, move toward becoming the kind of people we admire and aspire to be.  And three, we become positive influencers not only for those around us, but for ourselves as well.

And what, exactly, are the alternatives? 

TODAY.

LET'S GIVE THE WORLD & OURSELVES A GIFT.

LET'S TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT HOW WE THINK.

TOUCHED

What you just said touched me,

well, I mean, it moved me, jolted me actually,

out of my self-obsessed ruminations.

It made me feel warm and good,

good in a loving sort of way,

a way, I mean, like a path,

a path that leads you somewhere.

This one led to a loving place inside me.

It instantly made me feel more whole and hopeful.

It encourages me to do what you just did.

So many times we say things,

things that go way past touch,

things that poke and puncture each other.

But what you did told me 

that you actually really saw me--

and we don’t even know each other.

We’ve never actually met! I mean, 

we've just brushed against each other’s life

ever so lightly, ever so randomly 

for just this one moment. I know,

brief encounters like this occur all the time, 

and then, maybe never again 

between the same two people.

But you didn’t let that stop you

from reaching out to me,

from saying something so, so humanizing,

something so completely uncalled for but kind,

I mean kind in a we're-in-this-life-together way.

I’m really, honestly, deeply touched.

And all you did was smile and say, "Hi."

"Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these. . . . you did it to me.' (Jesus in Mt 25:40)

GOING GRAY

Those of you who knew me forty (40) years ago saw my first gray hairs when I was in my late twenties. (Uffda!) But I’m not talking about those. I mean, theologically speaking, I’ve been slowly going gray all my adult life, that is, I’ve been moving away from black and white belief systems, doctrines and dogma--the ones that teach “Do this and you’ll go to heaven/hell.”. . . . and away from literalistic interpretations of the Bible, especially about Jesus Christ and his teachings.

At the same time I’ve been moving toward a very different kind of “knowing.” 

Ironically--after all these years of studying, preaching, teaching and pastoring--I feel I know less “about” God than ever and I’m far less confident or certain about who or what God is. At the same time, I feel my understanding of the term “God” has evolved and expanded exponentially, I “know” God more deeply and intimately than ever before, and my one-on-one relationship with this One-Who-Is-In-All is sweeter and stronger for it.

It’s been quite a ride. 

I’ve experienced some of what the 16th C. Spanish mystic/poet St. John of the Cross called “the dark night of the soul.” (I suspect you have, too.) I’ve experienced innumerable crash and burns as well as “Behold, I make all things new. . . .” moments in my faith journey. (You, too?) And this trip’s nowhere near over. 

I write this because I think it might be helpful for you to know a bit about where I’m coming from--and where I’m going--when you read my writings. How about you? What has been the trajectory of your spiritual journey? Where are you today--at this moment in your life--compared with where you started out? 

Going gray. . . . and loving it.

TODAY.

LET’S GIVE THE WORLD & OURSELVES A GIFT.

LET’S TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE BELIEVE. . . . AND WHY.

EASTER!

At 6:37 a.m. this morning

--a full half-hour before sunrise--

I heard a Cardinal just outside my window 

spring into song. 

The operative word here being “spring!” 

No tai chi or breathing exercises. 

No warm ups or scales. 

No vocalizing. No anything. 

It just launched straight into an aria 

at double forte volume

without an instant’s hesitation. 

And never mind the orchestra. 

This was a capella.

Does it know it’s Easter morning? 

Or is it me who’s in the dark? 

Maybe Easter is in all of life. 

And all of life is in Easter.

WHY WAIT?

We wait.

For the coffee to brew

For our baby to be born

For the cancer to clear

For the crocuses to poke through

For the deal to close

For our luck to turn

For that special someone to call

For the light to turn green

For the package to arrive

For the rain to stop

For the test results to come

For our flight to board

For our children to call

For our ship to come in

For the bread to rise

For the paint to dry.

We wait.

Do it all the time, 

seldom by choice,

having to be still, 

feeling out of control,

--which is precisely 

what we don’t like about it.

An inevitable annoyance,

Such a waste of time.

 

But maybe this isn’t true at all. 

Or doesn’t have to be.

What if it’s actually our Holy 

trying to break into our psyche?

What if all that is life-giving

is beckoning us, begging us 

to see even this wait as a gift?

Or, at the very least, 

to see the sacred that is surely 

somewhere, somehow present

in even in this moment, 

--so we can separate

the cherishable 

from the perishable.