WITH...YOU

This new “breath prayer” came during the night while I was trying to get back to sleep. With it came the thought of using my breath and breath prayer as a means of carrying my meditation thoughts into my day, my actions, my Life. Here are some thoughts that came on this theme of with you...

God, I forget so easily and quickly my deeper, truer self. Somehow something as simple as a breath prayer keeps me remembering this most essential point or meaning of my existence. It seems that this is what you desire of me, God; that I know and ever more deeply know that you are with me and I am with you always. Everywhere. (This certainly seems to be the purpose of contemplative prayer. From it comes potential for instant transformation here and now. Any insights or messages that may come from such prayer—the simpler the better—are often an affront to my ego, which resents having to acknowledge my need to “dumb down”—typical egoic condescending language). The very fact that this message; with you is simple and that it doesn’t somehow feed my ego gives to me pause to believe that it is soul-sourced, legitimized, true and worthy. World call me crazy but I believe that the very simplicity and novelty of it is proof that it comes straight from you, God.

We humans don’t have to wander aimlessly through the mystery of you. We don’t have to wonder in order for your simple truths to be effectual in our lives either. We, in trust, can just know this “with you” insight to be true. In so far as we do, it can be our stake in the ground, our ground of being, our mooring throughout this and each day. In other words, existentially, it can be all that matters…the sum total of all our journeying (be it physical or spiritual)—because it is the very path itself. It is one expression of the totality of our being. In comparison, nothing else matters.

Have you somehow hidden this truth from me until now? No. Never. Have I had difficulty seeing it…and remembering it? Yes. Always! Today I feel you saying that trusting in your words ”with you,” as core to human self-understanding, is all that truly matters. All else—all other “matters”, especially the ones that seem paramount in my thinking, simply pale in comparison and ultimately fade into nothingness. Nothingness! All the things I consider so vital and crucial…in light of with you…all of them seem to be so completely ego-centric…the “weight and sin that clings so closely” that St. Paul urges us to lay aside (Hebrews 12:1 NRSV).

This means with you is ultimately freeing!!! Through these two words I can see that it is my ego…and only my ego…that is keeping me from sharing what I experience to be incredible insights that you give to me/to each of us in these meditative moments. Or to put it another way, focusing all that I am on with you instantly frees and transforms me into an alternative way of being and living. “What can and will change when I ground my being (my Life) in this one single truth?” This question is so radical and the answer so expansive that, once again, I can get only glimpses of answers.

What can I do to make a difference in this self-destructing world, I ask myself. With you is one expression of the answer, isn’t it God? If I will just live this I can give up my fear and anxiety about what others think of me. If I will just do this, I can live with greater honestly and integrity. If I will just do this, I can live altruistically and with great love for all.

Do I have the spiritual courage to share these, today’s insights? They are so fresh and real, so invigorating, orienting and empowering, so utterly different from most of my (and the world’s) thinking. My ego, as usual, is speaking from both sides of its mouth saying, “Yes, Jer, put it out there. They will love you!” and at the same time, “Absolutely not, Jer! You couldn’t possibly have anything worth saying to the world!”

But there is an alternative voice…the voice of my soul (which is where you reside, God) which is speaking a very different message. It is saying, “Yes, Jer…you do have something to say to the world (as each person does)—a version of truth so personal that only you can say it—and yet so universal that absolutely everyone who wishes to do so will be able to relate to and understand it.”

“What is the difference I can make…and make now?” each of us ponders from time to time. I hear you answering that question for me today God, with...“Just share what I share with you that makes all the difference in your world.” So ironically, you’re saying that the “difference” I can make is in helping others see how we are all alike when it comes to you…that each of us in our own way, longs to understand and experience the invigoration, the clarity and the empowerment of what you mean by with you.
And that’s your deepest desire, too



“And remember, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Jesus’ words in Matthew 28:20 NRSV)

CLOSER THAN SKIN ON SKIN

A different kind of prayer; this is what I’m here to learn, isn’t it God. A new kind of prayer where I’m not asking, asking, asking or even thanking, thanking thanking. It's simply being with you long enough to realize that you are in me and I am in you. Instead of running away from a sheer silence, it’s staying in place long enough to let it run into me, through me. You, I see now, are that silence, God. You are not only in the solitude. You are the solitude.

We humans are always running either toward or away from you. But there is no running to be done, is there? It’s in the cessation of running that we deeply experience your presence--and just as deeply discover who we are. We discover that you are fully present, that is, present in all your fullness. In other words, you are always here, always now...so that we can be the same; fully present here and now...with you and with each other.

That's your standing invitation isn't it; for us to be fully present to, with, and finally, in you. This is true prayer, and new prayer..."new"because it makes us new. It takes some getting used to, God. Feels elusive, but it’s not. You are closer than skin on skin...closer than my breath to me…closer than each beat of my heart. True prayer is the continuous re-cognition of this, your presence...your fullness. Nothing less. And there is nothing more.

To pray without ceasing is to carry this awareness into every notion, every emotion, every action, every transaction.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances..." 

(I Thessalonians 5: 16-18a NRSV)

MOMENT OF IMPACT

God,
help me become more deeply aware
of the words that I choose
and the impact they have,
especially the impact I miss
at the moment I’m speaking them.

I use words so loosely.
I spread them about so profusely,
while striving to convey exactly what it is
that I've convinced myself
is so important
for someone else to hear.

But often, in my exuberance
to persuade others of what
their take on reality should be,
I trample bullishly
through the lush garden of their own equally
(if not more valuable)
words, thoughts, feelings.
In short, I tread foolishly upon their perspective
which might actually be
your cleverly disguised wisdom,
given to me,
through them.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord…(Psalm 19:14 NRSV)

GIVE IT TIME

This is all the inner journey
in and into You
is asking of me:
Give it time.

Which translates:
Give it my here and my now
Give it my full-bodied and focused attention
Give it my willingness and my willfulness
Give it my humility and my humanity
Give it my energy and my honesty
Give it my best and my worst.

Suddenly,
it sounds like a lot,
like way too much.
But, ironically, I know
it’s not.

In fact
it’s nothing,
a pittance compared to what You give me
if and when
I do it.

SOUL POND

Like a small smooth stone
I descend
Into the cool quiet pool
Some call prayer.
Noiselessly I merge
With an ancient world.
Though ever new to me
It has been here all along;
The old in the new
The inner in the outer.
Rippling the surface
For only an instant,
I sink into its depths.
Here I find
My self,
The self that is nowhere else
To be found.
In fact, here I learn
Self is too small a word.
And here I discover that you, God, lead me.
Beside stilling waters
You restore my hot and restive soul,
Recreating in me a pure heart,
A quieted mind,
And a newborn sense
Of the who
that is me.

MY UNDOING

As you know all too well, God,
many things have the power to undo me;

Maybe it’s something bad that happens
Maybe its an offensive remark sent in my direction (or so my ego thinks!)
Maybe it’s my own emotions getting the better of me

And that's on a good day

Sometimes life is seeking my demise—
or so it seems

But I want you to be the one who undoes me, God.
You are the one whom I can trust unreservedly
With you I feel wholly safe

You undo me lovingly
with my well-being
in your mind
and in your heart

In fact,
what feels like you undoing me is really the opposite…
it is you doing me
It is you building me up not tearing me down
It is you putting me together not taking me apart
It is you bringing me to life...
and love

You give me your stalwart strength
You give me your ever-expanding perspective
You even give me your serenity

It is you re-creating your very self in me…through me…out of me.

Be my undoing, God.
Please.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10 NRSV

THE GOD EXPERIENCE

The “God experience” is what the Bible is all about.

This is what the story of Sarah, the wife of Abraham, and her impossibly-late-in-life pregnancy was all about: (“The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day...Now Sarah was listening...” Genesis 18:1ff).

It is what the story of Moses’ receiving the Ten Commandments on the mountaintop was all about: (“The LORD said to Moses, “Come up to me on the mountain and stay here, and I will give you the tablets of stone…” Exodus 24:12ff).

It was at the heart of Elijah’s hearing that “still small voice” in the sheer silence: (“He said, "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."  I Kings 19:11ff)

It was what Jesus’ mother experienced in her encounter with the angel Gabriel (“In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin…The virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you." Luke 1:26ff)

It was what Jesus experienced on the day of his baptism (“And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water…a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased." Mt 3:15ff)

It was Peter’s experience on the Mount of Transfiguration (“…Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, 3 and his clothes became dazzling white…” Mark 9:2ff)

It was the Pentecost experience (“When the day of Pentecost had…All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit…” Acts 2ff).

It was Paul’s experience on the road to Damascus (“Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" 5 He asked, "Who are you, Lord?" The reply came, "I am Jesus…” Acts 9:3ff)

From the Book of Genesis to the Book of the Revelation, the whole purpose of the Bible and every individual part of it seems to be to reveal what an actual and authentic experience of God can look like in our lives.

Further, its purpose is to put on display what an actual relationship with God looks like.

Finally, story after story, the Bible demonstrates what transformative power such personal experiences and such a personal relationship offer us.

What are we waiting for?